Legacy

I am in one of those contemplative moods lately (it may have something to do with turning 30...) and have been thinking a lot about legacy. What will I leave behind when I go one day?

legacy: anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor (www.dictionary.com)

I was thinking about what people leave behind. For me, my mom left an amazing legacy of strength, kindness, loyalty, thoughtfulness, godliness...the list could go on and on. But what about the situations no legacy was passed down or the one that was left is not good? Does that mean that it is hopeless? Should a person give up on living (or not) living up to a legacy? What if they are left with an incredible legacy and yet they fail to carry it on. Is all hope lost?

It reminded me of a song by Nichole Nordeman called "Legacy"

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read,
Not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

I hope, like my mom, I can leave a legacy for my children. If nothing else, I want to point to Him.

What legacy will you leave behind?

30 HERE I COME!!

Today is my last day in my twenties. That's not the most positive way to think about it, but if I look at my belief that my thirties will be better than my twenties, it's really great. I am embarking on a new chapter!

I am so honored that my friends are throwing me a birthday bash which includes my sister et al and my dad coming down for the occasion (I'm totally stoked). I am so blessed to have such great friends.

Birthdays for me, however, always make me miss my mom. Fall does the same thing--it was one of her favorite seasons (and is mine as well). She was always the first one to call me on my birthday to wish me a happy birthday and my question to her was always "So how does it feel having your youngest turn --?" She would always say "Great!" Sometimes I hate that I miss her because it can be pretty painful. And yet I often go there because it is part of the healing process for me. Although I know I'll never get over it.

So in honor of my mom I say "How does it feel having your youngest turn 30?" I wish I could hear her answer.

Thinking....

Over the past few days, I have realized that I have let a lot of my creative activities go for the sake of filling my time with other things. For example, I have a painting due to my young adults ministry at church that is barely started. I need to regroup myself and get with it.

I heard Dave Ramsey say today "Find something you are passionate about and pour yourself into it over the next decade." I realize that I love art and photography, as well as songwriting and yet, have I been pouring myself into those things? No is my answer. The good thing is that I can do something about it now.

I'm the Forever Girl

This is pretty personal...but I wanted to share. It is from a journal entry from a few months ago.

"I'm the forever girl, the one who will stand by when everyone else leaves; the one who can't give up until all possible attempts have been explored; the girl who wants to be close to you; the girl who will make you feel better when you're down; the girl who has talents and abilities that are amazingly God-given; I'm the one who will encourage you when you feel like you've got nothing; I'm the girl that sees the glass as half-full; I'm the one who will stand by you, praying for you when you fall; I'm the girl who will be your biggest cheerleader and biggest fan all rolled into one; I am the girl who will be your partner, your friend, your lover, your confidante all in one beautiful human being. If you don't want me, it's your loss."

In Memorium

Otis "The Buddy Dog" Delozier
April 15, 1991 - July 15, 2007

My thoughts and prayers are with the entire family - Donnie, Denise, Ellie, Stinky, Sissie, Callie, Rufus and Mya.

Big Decisions

After prayer and consideration, I decided not to go back to school this semester. Bummer.

I made the decision based on the fact that I refuse to incure debt for another Bachelor's degree. If it was my first degree, I would be more inclined to take out a loan. But now I have a mortgage and it took me a while to get out of debt...so why would I go there again?

I know, however, that I will miss the following things:

• BLT bagels in the Cafe
• Hours upon hours in the photo lab printing and getting giddy due to a lack of sleep
• Creative people EVERYWHERE
• Aspiring to be a better photographer because of my classmates (thanks Ellie, Ben & Aprill)
• Guy poking in the classroom at any moment
• Big TER - Terry Thacker...the best PROF EVER
• Knowing that I'm studying something I love

I have to keep reminding myself that I will go back at some point, hopefully in the spring, just without a mound of debt on my shoulders...

Brainstorming

I absolutely LOVE brainstorming sessions with smart, creative people. Sometimes I don't feel like I have much to add to the monsoon, but I just love to listen to how other minds work.

Off to my own little hurricane....

The Mother of All Wrecks

Yep. It happened today. NOT to me (thank God). I was working in my office when I heard this loud crash. I peeked out the window and was unable to see anything but cars slowing down and people running around. Suddenly another loud CRASH and before my eyes a lady rear-ended another lady. Holy moly. Pandemonium.

Being the good citizen that I am, I called the non-emergency number as I could see no one was hurt in the accident I witnessed. I decide to run outside while I'm on the phone and see what all the ruckus was about...turning the corner around the side of my house, I see a car has driven through the wrought iron fence and has stopped, missing the side of my house by 3 feet. 3 FREAKING FEET. I was like "what the krunk?"

Approaching the chaos, I find witnesses discussing the fact that the driver lost control, hit the curb, went sailing into the air--over a mound of landscaping--landed, jumped another curb and hit the fence. HOLY FREAKING MOLY.

Everyone was slowing down, which caused the accident that I witnessed.

I come to find out later that the girl driving the car has no license and had borrowed her aunt's car without permission. I believe she had been text messaging when she (as she put it) got a flat tire that made her "lose control."

Moral of the story:

(Note to self:) Never text message while driving.

Happy Endings

A friend of mine leant me a copy of the pre-release of Chris Rice's album "What a Heart is Beating For" (due out on July 17). I was hooked on the first song. Yep, it's that good.

One of my favorite songs is called "Lemonade." Once of the lines is:

Life gave me lemonade
And I can't imagine why
Born on a sunny day
Beneath the tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I'm a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade

I only hope that in my life, amidst all of the crappiness, the mistakes and missteps, I will always be a sucker for happy endings.

To Do

Things I have to do before April 26:

• Write an 8-page paper on a contemporary artist
• Write a presentation on the "Future of the Printed Book"
• Write a 750 word essay on the "Future of the Printed Book"
• Write a 750 word essay on whether or not credit is too easy to obtain
• Write an essay on why I chose to attend art school
• Write an essay on my educational and career goals
• Print 10 photographs and present them in a hand-made book
• Edit and revise a 10,000 member media database
• Take 24 photographs with a medium format camera
• Eat
• Sleep

So much to do, so much time (if I don't procrastinate).

Au Revoir Original Bumper

Remember my car accident a few months ago? Well, I finally got the whole thing settled and took it in to be repaired yesterday.

Upon picking up my newly cleaned and repaired auto, I spent some time with my friend Shelly. On my way home, I was driving next to a pickup truck. I noticed that it was carrying a bumper. "Hm," I said to myself. "That one is silver like my car." Upon further investigation, I realized that it was crumpled in the same spot as mine was. They sold it to someone who was evidentally going to fix it and resell it someone else.

It was then that I said, "Au revoir original bumper. Thanks for serving me well."

Dog Fever

It's crazy how throwing a ball to a friend's dog sometimes makes you want to get one....





Brewer, you're the best friend's dog I've ever had!

Little Miss Sunshine

I just finished watching "Little Miss Sunshine" which has now become one of my favorite movies...not only is it incredibly funny, opens with "Chicago" by Sufjan Stevens, but it totally illustrates the fact that you can totally suck at something but your family still thinks you're great.

Trapped

I have recently discovered (again) what can happen when your back is up against the wall...trapped, with some big decisions to make. To me these are life's most defining moments. Will you tie yourself to fear or will you do what you can to survive, to unleash yourself from the things that bind you?

I am amazed at resilient people who have encountered the severest of obstacles and survived. I recently finished a book called "Tomorrow Will Be Better" by Zdena Kapral. It is her personal story of survival in the midst of the Nazi takeover of Czechoslovakia. Her family survived through WWII as the Russians and Nazis used their home as a battle ground...then moved to India to be caught again in the middle of the Civil War. Zdena, her husband Alex and two daughters survived and eventually came to the United States, where we take freedom for granted. Zdena's story of survival and the triumph of the human spirit is touching (and hit close to home with me). What is most amazing is her resilience in the midst of cruel circumstances that put her back up against the wall...and she fought to survive and free herself from fear.

So what do you do when your back is up against the wall???

YUMMY

Last night I woke up on several occasions with a very sore throat. It could be due to the fact that since the weather has been nice, I have been sleeping with my windows open...but then again, I was so exhausted last night, I tend to think that a cold is trying to get me. I REFUSE TO GET SICK ON MY SPRING BREAK.

This morning I got up and sprayed my throat with Chloraseptic, the "Soothing Citrus" flavor. Soothing Citrus? Are you kidding me? More like "Gag-Me Citrus." Whoever thought throat spray that is attempting to taste like an orange would actually be soothing and refreshing must be shot...

Whew!

I got my grade tonight in Photo II--remember that project where I felt I got a harsh critique?


I got a "Superior" on content, printing and concept. WOOT! So it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. That darn mind of mine sometimes blows things out of proportion. Ugh.


Here is a photograph of my photographs. There were 11 prints, so photographing each individually is quite the task. Hopefully you get the idea from this photo.

Artistic Critique

One of the most difficult aspects of being an artist is taking critiques from others, specifically when the critique veers toward the negative.

Last night I turned in a project for my Photo II (Color Photo) class that was pretty harshly critiqued by my instructor and my advisor (in front of my classmates). I might note that I have to thank my classmates for being so positive about my project. Their comments were the good ones.

I have to admit that I took a big risk, though, in what I turned in. We were given the choice between shooting one roll of film each day for seven days OR doing a project about our family. I chose my family because the projects I have done in the past about them I have been really passionate about. My project consisted of 11 prints paired with text (that's where I took the risk). Pairing photographs (or any art for that matter) with text can make or break the project. The text was written on vellum and overlayed on top of the photographs. One comment that was made was that it was "too much like a Hallmark card." What can I say? I'm a sap when it comes to my family.

I came home last night feeling disappointed and defeated. I go back and forth between being glad that they were honest (because that makes me a better artist and photographer) and being totally dejected. So last night before I went to bed, I made a deliberate decision to not let this affect me in a negative manner. I need to pick myself up by the bootstraps and forge ahead.

Thank God today is a new day!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

So to all of those who have someone to share this day with, Happy Valentine's Day!

To all of those who are single, my friend Shelly and I began celebrating "Happy I'm-Not-with-the-Wrong-Guy" Day (so I don't have to spend money, time and energy on him to show a little romance). It is a good day to reflect on the fact that although you are single, life is good because you are not with the wrong guy. Remember, there is always something to be grateful for!

Clean Sweep

The first generation of the Uhri's (my brother, my sister and I) must fight the natural innate tendency to be pack rats. It's in the genes...

So this year I decided that I need to start de-cluttering my life. Even though I feel like I am pretty organized, I can always do better.

On Saturday, my friend Lisa Wilson came over to help me organize my craft/office room. In a matter of two hours, we had completely re-organized the entire space...and to my delight, I actually want to be in this room again! There are still a few things I have to go through, but the results are amazing.

By the way, you should have seen the closet before--I couldn't get to anything because it was so full!

Shred-alicious!

Due to my most recent organization conquests, I broke down today to purchase the $100 shredder in order to continue to maintain my sanity...money well-spent, especially after the "5 sheets only" shredder I had previously. This 14 sheet document eater cross-cuts with a lovely pull-out container and even has a special feeder for CD's and credit cards (can you say "plastictomy"). Yes, I'm a geek.

So I have spent the majority of the evening shredding papers that should have been discarded long ago.

On another note, I picked up this shredder at Office Depot, which happens to be one of the favorites amongst my siblings and I ("Ah, Office Depot" I often remark at my siblings trips to the beloved store). What can I say...we're nerds that love large office supply stores...