After a conversation with some friends tonight over coffee, I started thinking about when far is too far. When do you, as a friend, step in to help a friend if they are not seeing things from an objective point of view. Are we always afraid of judging others or stepping on toes when we should be speaking the truth in love?
For example, I have 3 really good friends that I was hanging out after I graduated from college (the first time...lol). Anyway, we all had dated guys that weren't right for us, so we all made a pact to speak our minds about our significant others if we felt that it wasn't a good situation (e.g. he wasn't a good guy for her). So with one of the friends, I did tell her, and I immediately felt a shift in our relationship. Needless to say, all three are now married to great guys, but I felt that I sacrificed a part of my relationship with that one friend because I spoke what I thought was the truth and keep my part of the pact--making sure that she was doing the right thing. Or was I?
So do we just keep our mouths shut and watch our friends get hurt? Or do we attempt to step in and potentially sacrifice the friendship?
How far is too far when you love your friends?
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- Michelle Uhri
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4 comments:
I think sometimes you have to be careful because if you set it up like it's you vs. him (and practically ANY statement not pro-him will be that way to someone romantically involved) you will almost certainly end up on "the other side." Sometimes people don't want to hear something negative about what they want regardless of how unhealthy it is. Maybe the easiest way to handle it while still being a good friend is to gently ask some questions that might lead her to think about it more honestly later-- without posing a direct challenge to the relationship. Sometimes people just have to go through it... and sometimes over and over, unfortunately.
i like what Melinda said about asking some questions that may lead her to think about it...that way she is almost in a way coming to the conclusion herself. and if she doesn't come to that conclusion you should first of all pray about how to deal with the situation (probably the wisest way to handle it period). maybe you could remind her of the pact that was made and lead into it that way...it's probably easier to make pacts when you aren't actually in that situation yet.
i like what Melinda said about asking some questions that may lead her to think about it...that way she is almost in a way coming to the conclusion herself. and if she doesn't come to that conclusion you should first of all pray about how to deal with the situation (probably the wisest way to handle it period). maybe you could remind her of the pact that was made and lead into it that way...it's probably easier to make pacts when you aren't actually in that situation yet.
opps...my name is Shelly Two Times (did you ever watch GoodFellas?)
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